For all the excessive puritannical nonsense of the smoking ban, and the general hostility to smoking which has become so fashionable, there is one benefit to the smoker in being outcast from acceptable company, whether in the home, workplace or place of entertainment. While in days past smoking was simply an accompaniment to the day to day activities of life, now the cigarette has assumed a semi-legitimate status as an excuse for a break. Fifteen minutes of every hour or two can now be devoted to nothing less than a complete time out, a chance to stop and reflect on the rigours of life in an increasingly hectic world.
This is important, because the overwhelming trend of the last few years has been to inexorably squeeze those opportunities for idleness out of our pathetic, rushed existence. The worker is encouraged to be always productive, to speed up, or even give up altogether, those daily activities that do not contribute towards the economic life of the nation – breakfast, lunch, tea-break chats with colleagues. But the cigarette, by virtue of its demonisation, has given a select few the opportunity to opt out of the normal economic structure of society, even for just fifteen minutes at a time, a few times a day.
But there is an art to the perfect cigarette break. Yes, you can simply rush out the office, stand ten feet from the door with all the other smokers, then hurriedly drag on a Lambert & Butler, sending smoke signals of dissatisfaction up to the management offices above. Or you can wander out of the office, off company grounds, to a quiet, secluded spot of your own choosing, somewhere off the beaten track. Once there you must make yourself comfortable, sit on a likely looking ledge or step, then – as I prefer – roll your own – herbal tobacco enhancer optional.
Then comes the actual smoking. This must never be rushed – if tobacco smoking is as deadly as they say then you may as well appreciate the actual sensation. Nor is it good form to distract yourself with a newspaper or book, unless there is something really worth reading. For the real pleasure of this time comes from the actual doing of nothing, in the most Zen sense. You might have spent the morning in the quiet and frustrating contemplation of piles of irreconcilable paperwork, as your manager gleefully assigns tasks to you that make cleaning the Stygian stables seem like a bit of light dusting, but when cigarette break time comes you have the chance to go back to the basic immediacy of existence. That time when it’s just you, the cigarette and the wind is your opportunity to steal back a moment of your life and spend a period of quiet contemplation, where of course you can decide whether or not it is all worth it.
Long live the cigarette break!
